Gag This Man

I like the idea of audiobooks.

It’s like taking multi-tasking to a new level. Work and play combined, or play and play. In an ideal world, you should be able to listen to a book as you do your dishes, or grocery shopping, cramming more into an already hectic world.

But for one thing.

Audiobook publishers insist on using really BAD narrators.

Fantasy books seem to be a particular victim. I recently got Robert Jordan’s Wheel Of Time on audiobook, thinking I could revisit this series without wading through all 11 books again. It feels like such a chore now….

To my utter dismay have been unable to listen to them because the narrator is terrible. A really thick, clipped, over enunciated Amercian accent. I think he must be reading from an auto-que as there are incomprehensible pauses which alter the pitch and rythym of the reading, making it impossible to follow without cringing. Shouting seems to equal drama, so most of the time I’m adjusting the volume constantly. He lacks any kind of sensitivity or nuance for the material.

In short he seems to be some kind of Brian Blessed wannabe. But without the talent. It really ruined what I thought was going to be a fantastic experience. I’m bitterly disappointed.

So I do some research and find out this guy, Michael Kramer is a respected audiobook narrator who has won awards. WTF??

I thought it might just be the American accent that bothered me, but that doesn’t apply as my favourite audiobooks ever are read by an American. James Marsters. He reads the Dresden novels and if Mr. Kramer has won awards then James Marsters should be winning the friggin’ audiobook Oscars. If you don’t believe me, checkout his work here.

Nothing short of genuis. They are on constant rotation all the time. Which has left me with a backlog of audiobooks to listen to. However, now I’m really afraid to listen to any of them just in case they are as bad as Mr. Kramers.

To make matters worse I see this chump, Michael Kramer has just finished my beloved ‘The Devil You Know,’ by Mike Carey. I shudder to think.

If I was an author, I think I would have a clause in my contract forbidding that man to read any of my work.

Books Listmania 2008

So this year I thought I would try to keep a list of all the books I have read as I seem to have plenty of spare time at the moment.

So far this year, (Yep that’s right, since 01 Jan 2008)

Dead Beat – Jim Butcher

Book Seven of the Harry Dresden series.

Harry finds himself embroiled with necromancers and all sorts in this book. As usual Jim Butcher manges to deliver a great, faced paced story (even in the introspective moments) with an absolutely bonkers finale that had me laughing, terrified and holding my breath in suspense all at the same time. Great installement of the series even if there is hardly any Murphy.

Proven Guilty – Jim Butcher

Book Eight of The Dresden Files.

Movie monsters coming to life, faerie wars and a mother on the warpath (literally) are just a few of the things Harry Dresden has to cope with in this book. My favourite if only for the heart-wrenching Murphy- Harry scene where they finally discuss thier feelings. Or rather Karrin does and Harry just stands there. Men!

Black Magic Woman – Justin Gustainis

The first of an ongoing series about Quincy Morris Supernatural Investigator and his white witch sidekick, Libby Chastain. I enjoyed this and it weas a quick and easy read. However, after ramping up the suspense so much by making the bad guys seem almost unstoppable, the finale was somewhat anti-climactic with the heroes winning really easily and almost by accident. It left me kinda unsatisfied. Also there was a lot of swearing by most characters, which doesn’t offend me, but seemed completely gratuitous.

Devil You Know – Mike Carey

Book One of the Felix Castor series

I loved this book a lot. Well-drawn characters, plenty of mysterious backstory yet to be uncovered and Mike Carey drew a blanket of unease over the whole tale. Better yet there was no gore for the sake of gore, or sadism for sadism’s sake, which I find completely boring and all too prevelant in horror (reason enough not to read or watch it in my book). There were some parts that really creeped me out. I devoured this book in a day and then rushed to the bookshop to buy the next installment. I think I might be a little in love with Felix ‘Fix’ Castor.

Maybe not with Felix Castor but I have kind of fallen in love with this new genre, ‘urban fantasy’ and while the majority of it seems to be really badly written soft porn, there are some real gems in there. The crime novel with a slight fantasy slant seems to be my flavour of the month.

I have read fantasy my whole life and while I have always been an avid reader I never really poked my head into the communities before. Now it seems like there are all these sub-genres of fantasy that I never knew exsisted. Historically, the usual genre of fantasy that I read I think is classed as ‘high fantasy’. You know, medeival world, swords, sorcery, wizards and magic of all types and sizes. You know, Jordan, McCaffrey, Goodkind etc.

I was never into the vampire/werewolves thing which in my mind seem to be more at home in horror than sci-fi/fantasy. But vampires and werewolves (or loup-garou) seem to be common fare in Urban Fantasy and it hasn’t left me throwing down the books in disgust. Who knew, huh?

I wonder how many widely recognised fantasy sub-genres there are?

Still on my to read pile

Vicious Circle – Mike Carey (reading at the moment.)
Dead Man’s Boots – Mike Carey
White Night – Jim Butcher
Furies Of Calderon – Jim Butcher
Killing Floor – Lee Child
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (I KNOW – I HAVEN’T FINISHED IT YET!)
Out – Natsuo Kirino

I have also got around 12 books winging their way to me from Amazon as we speak, but they aren’t going on the list until I have them here in my sticky little fingers

New Year, New Blog

I’ve been away from the blogoshpere and the internet in general for a while now. Something to do with the absolute drubbing I recieved as a member of an online community.

I came away from that battered and bruised and vowing never to put myself out there like that again. Time has passed and I feel renewed and my complusive need to let everyone know what I am doing, thinking and feeling has surfaced again. So I have a new home here at wordpress where my many ramblings can be found. It is really quite classy. I must have grown-up in the interim.

Be it books, knitting, films, crochet or just my usual kind of mind-vomit about TV and celebs, enjoy.