Pressure Cooker

I am unemployed.

I am unemployed by choice.

I had a really tumultuous year last year that started off with some unexpected major surgery and ended with a death. Gets a person to thinking. I realized I hated my job. So I left. Life is too short.

I was waaaaaaa-y cocky about finding a job. Thought the perfect one would come to me. I am changing careers, not just job roles so I knew it might be a little tough, but nothing I couldn’t handle.

I watched the months race by and my savings dwindle. I finally signed on to unemployment, something I had planned not to do. I suddenly became the whiz around the house, doing all the little jobs, I said I would do. I took up knitting again. Became Miss Project. Anything to fill my time.

Anything to cover the growing ball of panic sitting in the bottom of my stomach, threatening to burst at any moment. Some deep breaths and a repetition of my mantra, ‘I can have a job I love, ‘ keep it down, when it threatens to rise. But it’s still there, getting bigger and bigger, more insistent each day.

It’s not like I’m a student. I have a mortgage and credit card bills and loans to pay. I really can’t afford to be unemployed much longer. I sacrificed my ‘Luxury Canadian Holiday’ for my decision (I have spent my holiday fund.) and sold almost all of my worldly possessions on ebay. I think I might have to crack into the a-ha collection soon and anyone who knows me, knows how desperate things must be if I’m contemplating THAT!

So when the call came today for an interview, the pressure, stress and tension lifted off me. I never realized just how worried I was. It’s a crappy job, doing crappy work, for crappy wages but it will keep the wolves at bay, while I figure out my next move.

Thank god for breathing space.

I suppose it is like the eternally-wise Quoda always says to me, ‘It’ll all work out in the end.’

Now, I just need to ace this interview!

    • inkandindigo
    • January 17th, 2008

    Good luck! I know from experience how much confidence wanes when you’re constantly passed over for jobs that should be begging for you. You can do it! x

    • cueballcol
    • January 18th, 2008

    Good luck with the interview. I’m currently in a “crappy job, doing crappy work, for crappy wages” while I consider my options but it is definately a step up from not working which is somethng I dread having to go back to. Running the ol’ movie blog is a pleasant distraction from the mundane work I should be doing right now. Cheers for visiting and hogging all the quiz answers!
    P.S I saw the Torchwood episode there on Wednesday and it was ace.

    • Sayuri_x
    • January 18th, 2008

    Cheers for visiting and hogging all the quiz answers!

    Heh. It was fun. I know I went waay over the top but I have this really unatractive competitive streak.

    Thanks for the good wishes, from both of you.

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